Can you explain the role of consent and collaboration between parents, children, and ABA practitioners in developing and adjusting therapy goals?

Consent and collaboration are essential in any ethical and effective ABA practice. Therapy goals should emerge from a partnership between parents, children, and practitioners. This process includes listening to the learner, even if they don’t communicate verbally, and observing their responses and preferences, which are key to guiding intervention. Parent input is also crucial, as parents know their child best and must play an active role in identifying priorities that align with the family's values and culture. Additionally, ongoing adjustments are necessary, as goals should evolve with the learner’s growth and development. Regular check-ins ensure that everyone’s voice—especially the learner’s—is respected. When goals are developed collaboratively, they become more meaningful and respectful to all involved.

How can parents differentiate between ABA programs that prioritize compliance versus those that honor and respect a learner’s neurodivergence?

The following are indicators of neurodiversity-affirming programs:

• Language
  Avoid programs that describe behaviors as "non-compliant" or "maladaptive."

• Focus on consent
  Good programs prioritize assent, which, at a bare minimum, allows the child to opt in or out of activities. Ideally, they follow a scope and sequence that honors assent withdrawal and teaches how to navigate difficult situations and self-advocate.

• Skill building over behavior suppression
  Programs emphasize teaching communication, self-regulation, and coping skills, rather than simply eliminating behaviors.

• Respect for autonomy
  Programs encourage choice-making and celebrate individuality.

• Parent involvement
  Providers who actively collaborate with parents and value their input. If a program's primary goal is compliance rather than connection, it’s a red flag.

Given the challenges of long waitlists and limited providers, how can parents advocate for a compassionate ABA approach that respects their family's preferences and values when seeking services for their child?

Parents can advocate for their child by asking questions about the provider’s approach to consent, collaboration, and neurodiversity. It’s also important to set expectations by clearly communicating your family’s values and non-negotiables (e.g., no forced compliance, respect for sensory needs). Educating yourself about ABA practices will also help you discern quality programs, and seeking out resources from neurodiversity-affirming organizations can be valuable. By advocating for your child’s well-being and autonomy, you can help ensure a better match with the right provider.

What should parents do if they feel their child’s ABA program is overly focused on compliance at the expense of their emotional well-being and individuality?

If parents feel that an ABA program prioritizes compliance over emotional well-being and individuality, it’s crucial to address these concerns in a way that centers the child’s autonomy and safety. Behavioral interventions should never come at the expense of a child’s well-being. Programs focused solely on compliance risk ignoring the child’s communication of unmet needs and can inadvertently contribute to stress, avoidance, or trauma. A more nuanced approach—one that centers interventions on the child’s safety, dignity, and unique strengths—helps create a foundation for meaningful growth. By prioritizing the child as a whole person, parents can ensure their child’s autonomy and emotional well-being are respected throughout the process. Here are some steps you can take:

• Recognize the signs by reflecting on what raises red flags. Is the program pushing rigid compliance without considering the child’s sensory, emotional, or communication needs? Are there moments when the child’s autonomy or dignity seems compromised? If the child didn’t have a diagnosis, would the goals or methods be acceptable? Understanding these concerns can help frame a productive conversation with your provider.

• Ask questions and seek clarity by requesting information on how the program supports the child’s emotional well-being, respects their preferences and sensory experiences, and by approaching the team with curiosity, asking, “How does this approach support my child’s autonomy and self-advocacy?”

• Advocate for a shift in focus by requesting changes that align with neurodiversity-affirming practices, such as child-led activities, functional skills, assent, and emotional regulation, while emphasizing the importance of safety, connection, and co-regulation as foundational elements of the program.

• Encourage collaborative goal setting by working with the team to redefine goals that prioritize meaningful, autonomy-building outcomes. For example, instead of compliance-driven goals like “sit still,” focus on fostering skills like self-advocacy or engaging in preferred tasks.

• Monitor and reevaluate by observing whether changes are implemented and how your child responds. If the program resists adapting or dismisses your concerns, it may indicate that the provider’s approach is incompatible with your values.

• If necessary, find a different provider who incorporates neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed practices. While waitlists and availability may be challenging, prioritizing an approach that values your child as a whole person is essential.

• Trust your instincts as your child’s expert and advocate, and insist on practices that honor their individuality, autonomy, and emotional safety.

What is your definition of a good behavior analyst? 

A good behavior analyst does more than teach new skills or reduce challenging behaviors—they create environments where clients thrive, feel seen, and experience joy. They are not just practitioners but also allies, advocates, and partners in their clients' journeys. Their work is guided by a balance of scientific rigor, ethical integrity, and compassionate responsiveness, making a lasting impact on the lives they touch. A good behavior analyst combines analytical rigor with compassion, creativity, and responsiveness to foster meaningful, lasting change in the lives of their clients. They embody the following qualities:

• They center the individual by prioritizing the client’s voice, preferences, and autonomy. Additionally, they ensure that the client’s needs, strengths, and values guide every aspect of their work, actively involving the client in decision-making—even when communication occurs through alternative methods.

• They engage in rigorous analysis by digging deep to understand why behavior is occurring or skills aren’t being acquired, rather than relying on surface-level assumptions. They approach behavior with curiosity, using data and observation to uncover patterns, environmental influences, and unmet needs.

• They practice with compassion and responsiveness by recognizing behavior as communication and responding with empathy rather than judgment. They adapt in real-time, thinking on their feet to individualize interventions that honor the client’s dignity and current emotional state.

• They create safety and trust by fostering an environment where the client feels safe and secure through consistent, respectful interactions that honor the client’s right to assent and withdraw. Additionally, they work to reduce stress and promote regulation through predictable routines, co-regulation, and cues of safety.

• They are joy-bringers, engaging with clients in a way that makes learning fun, meaningful, and intrinsically rewarding. By focusing on positive experiences and connections, they ensure their presence adds more joy than difficulty to the client’s life.

• They collaborate with families, educators, and other professionals to create cohesive, individualized plans that respect the unique dynamics of each environment. They also advocate for the client’s needs, ensuring their dignity, rights, and well-being are upheld in every context.

• They commit to lifelong learning by actively pursuing ongoing education in areas like trauma-informed care, neurodiversity-affirming practices, and behavioral neuroscience. They challenge their own biases and remain open to evolving their practices to better serve their clients.

• They uphold ethical standards by strictly adhering to guidelines that protect the client’s dignity, autonomy, and safety. Recognizing the limits of their expertise, they collaborate with or refer to other professionals when necessary.

What is one way neurotypicals can foster greater inclusivity for autistic individuals?

Inclusivity begins when neurotypicals shift from being passive allies to active collaborators, striving to understand and dismantle the systemic barriers faced by autistic individuals. It’s about creating a world where autistic voices are valued and their unique ways of engaging with the world are embraced as vital contributions to the richness of human diversity. Inclusivity is not charity—it’s justice, belonging, and a commitment to equity. Fostering inclusivity goes beyond surface-level acceptance; it demands intentional action, self-reflection, and a commitment to creating equitable spaces where autistic individuals can thrive. Here are key ways neurotypicals can contribute:

• Listen, learn, and elevate autistic voices
  Centering lived experience is essential. Value the perspectives of autistic individuals by reading their writings, following their social media accounts, and inviting them to lead discussions about autism. Their experiences are the most important for understanding how to foster inclusivity. Additionally, avoid making assumptions about what is best for autistic individuals. Instead of deciding for them, ask directly. Listening builds trust, understanding, and empowerment.

• Challenge assumptions about behavior and abilities
  It’s important to recognize that behaviors often have a functional or communicative purpose, even if they don’t align with neurotypical norms. Rather than labeling behaviors as "problematic" simply because they are different, it's crucial to approach them with understanding. Additionally, it’s important to recognize that competence and intelligence may not always align with traditional measures of communication or social engagement. By presuming competence, we can better support individuals in expressing themselves authentically, honoring their unique ways of communicating.

• Create truly accessible and flexible environments
  When creating inclusive environments, sensory considerations are essential. Modifying lighting, noise levels, and seating arrangements can help accommodate sensory sensitivities, and offering options for quiet spaces or sensory breaks provides additional support. Communication options should also be prioritized, ensuring access to tools such as AAC devices, visual supports, or other alternative methods to express needs and preferences. Flexibility plays a key role as well, creating environments where expectations can adapt to individual needs, such as allowing movement during tasks, eliminating unnecessary social demands, or adjusting schedules to reduce stress.

• Focus on connection, not conformity
  Inclusivity is about creating spaces where the authentic ways of being of autistic individuals are celebrated and supported, rather than teaching them to mimic neurotypical behavior. Work toward building relationships that honor authenticity by modeling respect for boundaries, offering clear communication, and fostering interactions that feel safe and validating.

• Celebrate neurodiversity as a strength
  Shift the narrative from "fixing" autism to celebrating the unique strengths and perspectives that autistic individuals bring to communities, workplaces, and relationships, and advocate for structural changes that value diversity, such as inclusive hiring practices that embrace neurodivergent candidates and educational settings that affirm and support different learning styles.

• Commit to lifelong growth
  Self-reflection is critical to fostering inclusivity. It requires examining personal biases, unlearning harmful stereotypes, and seeking a deeper understanding of autism beyond mainstream narratives. Inclusivity is not a one-time effort but an ongoing commitment to adapt, learn, and grow alongside the autistic community.

Can you recommend any resources for autistics, parents, or the providers who support them? 

Here are some helpful resources for parents, autistics, and providers who want to learn more about neurodiversity-affirming and compassionate approaches.

My Resources:

• The Do Better Collective
  A community-driven platform offering webinars, workshops, and CE opportunities focused on neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed practices.

• Do Better Podcast
  Episodes featuring discussions on assent-based practices, emotional regulation, and compassionate service delivery.

• Trailblazer Membership
  Access to a library of CE content on advanced behavioral practices, including neurodiversity-affirming approaches and relational learning.

For Autistic Individuals:

• Unmasking Autism
  A powerful book on embracing authenticity and celebrating neurodivergence by Devon Price.

• The Neurodivergent-Friendly Workbook of DBT Skills
  Practical tools for managing emotions and building self-compassion by Sonny Jane Wise.

• Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)
  Guides and advocacy tools created by autistic individuals, for autistic individuals.

• We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation
  A perspective on the challenges and triumphs of the autistic community by journalist Eric Garcia.

• NeuroTribes
  A comprehensive history of autism and the neurodiversity movement by Steve Silberman.

• Neurodiversity Hub
  A global initiative providing resources, education, and support to empower neurodivergent individuals in education, employment, and community life. The Hub fosters inclusive environments by collaborating with universities, employers, and organizations to promote awareness and celebrate neurodiversity.

For Parents:

• Beyond Behaviors
  Insights on understanding and responding to behaviors through a lens of compassion and neuroscience by Dr. Mona Delahooke.

• Unconditional Parenting
  A resource emphasizing respectful, child-centered parenting practices by Alfie Kohn.

• Robyn Gobbel is a trauma therapist and educator specializing in attachment, trauma, and the nervous system. She provides resources, workshops, and courses to help families and professionals support children with challenging behaviors through a lens of connection, safety, and co-regulation. Her work integrates neuroscience with practical strategies for fostering emotional resilience and healing.

For Providers:

• Do Better Collective Trailblazer Membership
  A vibrant community for behavior analysts and professionals dedicated to advancing neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed, and compassionate practices. The membership offers access to a library of over 60 cutting-edge CE courses, live events, expert discussions, and exclusive discounts on workshops—all designed to empower practitioners to deliver ethical, impactful, and innovative services. Join to connect, learn, and make a difference in your practice.

• PFA/SBT Community
  A professional community dedicated to advancing practices in assent-based and trauma-informed care within the field of behavior analysis. The platform offers resources, courses, and collaborative opportunities to help providers align their interventions with compassionate, ethical, and evidence-based approaches. Join the community to connect, learn, and grow in delivering respectful, client-centered care.

Connect with Dr. DeLeon on Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn. You can also find additional insights, practical strategies, and the latest in neurodiversity-affirming practices on the Do Better Collective website, or by following the movement on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube.